How do we mend what has been broken or fractured? How can we trust again?
How can we restore or mend a broken relationship? How can we trust again? At the core of many broken or fractured relationship lays the issue of TRUST. There are many times a relationship's fractures starts with small subtle hits that create thin hair cracks in our trust with each other. It is usually so subtle and thin that we ignore it or if we do feel something we set aside as just our imagination. But when we take the time to review the deeper reason why a relationship has ruptured we then can see the first signs of the trust being chisel away in such minuet instances that we would not have connected it them to the reason of the fractured relationship.
You may ask what kind of tiny thin hair instances could cause such damage? Well being so small that can go by in a split second, so minuet and fast that is taken in by our unconsciousness without us noticing what has occurred. It starts by someone saying or doing something that you didn't feel comfortable with but instead of speaking up you felt it was not proper to bring it up or you felt it was not your place to speak up and instead you disregarded your feelings and ignored your discomfort.
And so we start the tiny thin hair cracking of our relationships in such manner that when the last incident occurs, it shatters the relationship into pieces. It has the effect of a bomb exploding all of a sudden and without no warning.
What can we do to restore such relationship? What if the other person is not interested in healing or mending the fractured relationship? What if I feel I can't trust that person no matter if they ask for forgiveness? Is it not best to separate and never connect again for my safety? These are some of the questions my client will ask me when I suggest the process of Atonement.
All of these questions are very valid questions and there is genuinely not a wrong or right answer to them as long as you are conscious of the reason behind the choices you have made. I have found in my experience doing Atonement is that I don't have to stay fractured or broken or mistrusting others because of an experience where I was unconscious and chose to ignore my inner guidance. I have learned that I can mend, restore myself to wholeness and trust again!
Let me share my own experience and how I have restored myself to wholeness while learning how to trust in ways that have made me stand up for my truth. It started when I discovered the process of "Atonement."
The dictionary definition of Atonement is: satisfaction or reparation for a wrong or injury; amends. In a society where we are taught not to speak up because is not polite or to forgive without the act of atonement, we create a belief that no harm done if we just ignore the injury or we go numb and act as if we have forgiven the person.
Most of my clients have an issue with forgetting, they are open to forgiving, but they right away get defensive when we speak of forgetting. They tell me they can Let Go but their Let Go is making them hold the person, the experience, or the memory hostage. Forgiving someone and not forgetting is keeping the wound alive and not allowing it to heal. How can we heal if we are not able to forget?
Let me ask you if someone comes to you and shows you their arm, and when you look at it you see they have an open wound that is bleeding, do you treat the injury with first aid and make sure the person has been helped in taking care of the wound, so it heals quickly and with no scars? Or do you start asking the person questions such as how did this wound occur? How could you have let this happened? And start looking for whom to blame? If we see a physical injury in front of us, we may do both, which is helping the person with first aids while asking the series of questions that make the person feel worst than better. But what if we would have the confidence within us to use kindness and compassion and heal the wound first before asking challenging questions that can make the person turn towards Blame, Shame, and Guilt?
When we have a spiritual or emotional wound is not seen as quickly as when is a physical injury and thus we can hide it so no one can see it and therefore not feel Shame or Guilty. The emotions of Shame or Guilt are more dangerous than any physical wound because the more we hide it and ignore it the more it gets infected and before we know it the choices we make are being affected unconsciously by the wounds we have not healed. We start carrying a load of mistrust that at times we can't even trace back to the reason why we are not able to trust.
At the core of Atonement is the etymology (the origin of the word) which is "from phrase at one in harmony," "condition of being at one (with others),." When we can learn how to make our wounds heal and mend so, we can be At-One-Ment we than can finally live a life in balance and harmony.
All of our wounds can be healed and restored into Wholeness even if the person that caused the injury is not open to a dialogue of healing and restoration. Learning and doing Atonement makes us not only heal and mend but we learn from the experience in such manner that makes us stronger and able to stand in our own truth.
Atonement can be as easy as committing to be conscious of our thoughts and actions so that if we err we can quickly correct. Atonement is a physical act that we put in place for a specific determined number of days to bring to our consciousness the lesson and learn it consciously in a way that makes you feel confident you will not repeat the mis-step.
Are you ready to create a life of harmony and well being? Check out Empower Your Amazing Life Story YouTube Channel: http://tiny.cc/EmpowerYourLifeChannel as I will be posting new videos giving new insights on how to empower your own amazing life story!